It was on the way to the hospital that I got my closure

I was setting in the back of the van, holding a hand over her cold hands,

Trying to remember her face from yesterday, I remember when we sat talking, I held that image in my head, and I stared her in the eyes, half crying, half smiling, but she wasn’t her usual self, she was crying,

“No you won’t cry” I said, “Smile your big smile with me now, this is important, and this would be my last opportunity to talk to you, we don't have much time”

“remember how much he loves you, he loves you more than I do”, “and you remember the days when you used to say, he comes first, and then us, your own children”

“how can I be sad to leave you, I wil miss you, but you are going to meet him at last, remember how you always said you wanted to go strong as you always were, and now your wish came true”

just remember when you’re asked; “Allah is my god, Islam is my religion”, “Ashhad Anna La Elaha Ella Allah, Wa Ashhad Anna Mohammadon Rasool Allah”,

I said it over and over and over again,
But she was smiling now
She got me

I asked her, “Sho Betwasene?”,

How silly of me, asking a question I know the answer to,

Take care of Baba, taimour and tamara, keep on your prayers.

“you will always be in m heart mama”, “I will never forget you”, “you will be as proud of me as you always were”…

the van rolled its roar to a halt, I remember carrying her body in…




you might have gone, but in my heart you will live forever…

goodbye

your loving son,

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