I have grown to figure out the symptoms of these kinds of mood swings from far away, and knowing how once i get into one, am in the whirl, i still do drag myself into it, i thought extensively of this, of why do i do it? is it because i feel that by doing it i can rise back up again? and somehow stir up my routine? Or do i do it because somewhere, deep down, i like the feeling, sort of a love-hate relationship? This and many other explanations that i came up through the years that regularly failed to sum up the logic of my delimma.
Very recently, during one of those "swings", and while enjoying an unusual posture, i was flipping through a book that I've been putting on hold for a while now, but one section that day caught my attention, it spoke so honestly of the things that i have been going through. Now i know this is really used up, but i felt that most, if not all, of the stuff i was reading perfectly summed up my feelings in such trances; the sleepless nights, the sickening feeling of emptiness, the over indulgence in much of the stuff that i would be doing and so on,
and then it hit me; Organization!
Can this be somehow be traced back to my bad sense of organization?
Can it be solved if i was more organized?
To further explain more, i tried the concept that was presented within this book to see if it actually works;
It suggests filling up one's day, planning it from start to finish, even if it was roughly, your wake up call, your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, when approximately will i be leaving work that day, what did i need to do at work (and actually writing a "To Do List"), what will i be doing when i get home, what am i having for lunch, when will i be going to bed ...etc.
What did amaze me, is that most of the stuff (just regular stuff), that i have been wanting to do for along time, filled in nicely within my schedule; Morning Walk, Neat Breakfast, Work (and Work and Work), Lunch, Reading, Exercise, some Will & Grace, and and and...
this brings me back to the reason i started all of this; Organizing my day did NOT leave a chance for those empty thoughts to crawl back into my head, it also did NOT leave a chance for any "negative" acts of self deprivation, and got me totally EXHAUSTED by the end of the day, which brings us to the finale of 5 S's; Seiri, Seiton, Seiso, Seiketsu & Shitsuke (translated to: Sorting, Setting in Order, Sweeping, Standardizing, Sustaining); a Japanese Methodology that best translates my actions, thanks Jamal!